Underworld: Blood Wars

It’s rare to have your favourite entry in a franchise be the fifth sequel, but here we are. Underworld: Blood Wars is most likely the most imaginative effort in the franchise and does a few key things that the others don’t, which I’ll get to in a minute. As expected, the tireless war between vampires rages ever on, as aristocratic vamp elder Thomas (Charles Dance) waffles about on a proper battle plan while mutinous underlings grow restless in his ranks. On the Lycan side of things, new and more organized warlord Marius (Tobias Menzies) rallies the Wolf clans for an attack that poses real threat. Meanwhile Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is perpetually exiled from both races, existing on the fringes where she searches for the daughter she never new she had until Thomas begrudgingly asks for her help in the impending wars. It’s strictly politics and expository setup until the story really kicks off, which is when it becomes one for the books. The action, gore and choreography is wonderful as ever here but what really makes it stand out and what might be my favourite sequence of the whole franchise is Selenes breathtaking journey to the Arctic to request shelter with a mysterious coven of Nordic snow vampires. How cool is that??!! The whole franchise we have this his buttoned down, black leather bureaucrat baroque vampire aesthetic with muted colours and droll performances and suddenly theres this blast of inspiration in the mythology and we are treated to new facets of lore we feel Ike we already know so well. The Nordic clan have an ethereal elvish aura to them with very elemental costumes and an ice castle hideout that has an airy, artsy look to it, there’s just nothing else like them anywhere else in the franchise and I *loved* the creative choices made here. Additionally, Selene goes through quite an intense hurdle here battling Marius and at one point, without spoiling too much, she undergoes a sort of Gandalf The White visual transformation and character arc here complete with a fur adorned outfit, wintery white hair highlights and an epic Deus Ex Machina third act mix drop moment that had me cheering. There’s also genuine pathos in her quest to find her daughter, an emotional resonance that isn’t often found in this film, so often full of sound, fury, blood, bullets and fur. Breathtaking film.

-Nate Hill

Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth

Often horror franchises will set out on one path, hang out with one set of characters for the first couple entries or so and then go back to the drawing board to shift gears completely, placing their action and mythology elsewhere in a different scenario. It gives fresh perspective, new characters and a chance for an atmospheric transference to a new environment, which I think Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth handles terrifically. The nightmarish Rubik’s cube has somehow made its way to a 90’s big city and is purchased by an obnoxious nightclub owning freak-show (Kevin Bernhardt) who uses its otherworldly aura to boost both his club’s atmosphere and his own bizarre sex life. The cube, embedded in a sculptured pillar, has a mind of its own though and soon Pinhead and his merry little gang escape from their stoney prison and wreak all madness and havoc throughout the city, starting with an impossibly bloody free for all at the club. One intrepid reporter (Terry Farrell) knows a good story when she sees one and begins to get embroiled in the Cenobites plan for citywide mayhem, along with her friend (Paula Marshall). Pinhead is fun in this one because it’s not like the first two where he just gets summoned from the cube and is there all ready to go, here he’s been trapped in that stone pillar for quite sometime and has a lot of pent up rambunctious energy and when he gets loose, he *really* unleashes hell. He’s got some… quite interesting homies in this one too, not the same peeps from the first two. There’s one cenobite with CD’s embedded into its head who chucks them around like ninja stars and amputated people’s limbs. Another one has a fancy camera on its face and uses filmmaker lingo as it kills people and as ridiculous as these two might seem initially, one must remember that the cube and the forces within seem to mirror human experience back at us with their shenanigans so it kind of makes sense in a way, plus I greatly appreciated such audacious creativity. Bradley gets to play both Pinhead here and the colonial era British explorer who he used to be for a nice touch of variation and duality. This one was a blast; stunning gore and visual effects, nostalgic 90’s aura, a wicked fun female protagonist and a playful tone that sets it apart from the first two.

-Nate Hill

James Wan’s Dead Silence

Ventriloquist dummies are creepy no matter what and immediately give horror material an extra boost, however in the case of James Wan’s Dead Silence it’s the ventriloquist herself that ends up being more terrifying, a ghostly presence called Mary Shaw who was once a woman that was barren and instead of having real kids, just made freaky dolls. She’s got a nasty vendetta against the townsfolk of Raven’s Fair, Ontario, relating to an incident from the collective past that has her return time and time again with her dolls to haunt them. Ryan Qwanten is a bit of a soup cracker as the lead, a thirty-something who once escaped the town and is called back by the mysterious forces at Shaw’s command, while the acting slack is picked up by other reliable faces including Bob Gunton, Amber Valletta and Donnie Wahlberg as one sarcastic detective who has no time for this hocus-pocus horseshit until it comes looking for him. Silver screen star Judith Roberts is incredibly effective as Shaw herself, a physically imposing, spectral presence and one hell of a resourceful, spiteful and dangerous otherworldly antagonist. There’s a few scenes where she stalks her prey that verge on that special nirvana of horror territory that actually has your hair standing on end and has you checking the closets later that night. The film is somewhat advertised as an evil doll flick and really that’s just the overall premise, most of the time it’s Shaw herself doing the hauntings, scares and killings and damn does she ever do a great job. Wan directs with sweeping, gothic stylish flair and has a sense of scope and spatial dynamics, Charlie Clouser composes a thunderingly melodic haunted house symphony of a score and the atmosphere hanging over this thing permeates everything. Also, I don’t think any film has ever had the balls to try and pull of a twist ending this… unflinchingly audacious and knowingly hilarious. It’s a bold, bold move but it somehow just works and adds to the charm, eliciting the prestigious slow clap reaction from me. Great film.

-Nate Hill

THE ROBERT ALTMAN FILES: IMAGES (1972)

Robert Altman was once quoted as saying that, to him, his entire filmography was one whole movie with each individual film a chapter. If this is true, Images, the lone horror film in his career, is a very pivotal chapter in that string as it reflects backwards on characters already introduced while also projecting forward and allowing the audience to more clearly see how, in Altman’s cinematic world, trace elements of one project can seep into another.

In some ways Images is a re-examination of Frances Austen from That Cold Day in the Park but through the prism of Cathryn, a much more sexual and less socially awkward creature than Frances but one who likewise nurses a mysterious void in her life. In direct opposition to Frances’s hanging out with barely-sentient wax mummies to fill the time, Cathryn spends her days writing children’s novels and waiting around for her boorish jagoff of a husband, Hugh, who has business dinners that last until four in the morning and, like a complete asshole, wears driving gloves as if they’re a perfectly acceptable and fashionable addition to his fall ensemble.

Despite the obvious differences between herself and Frances, Cathryn is similarly and undeniably unwell, which is made quite obvious in the first five minutes of the movie. Mysterious and disturbing phone calls which may or may not be occurring give way to brief, shocking hallucinations which cause Cathryn and Hugh to beat retreat to Green Cove, a semi-isolated, two-story cottage where Cathryn lived with her grandfather during her childhood (shot in picturesque County Wicklow, Ireland). Once there, the hallucinatory nature of the visitations of former lover Rene blend with the shifting, confusing interactions with not only Hugh but also old friend and neighbor, Marcel, and his twelve-year old daughter, Susannah.

On top of employing a lot of methods of twinning, namely the utilization of mirrors and clever match cuts, Altman plays a deft and creative card by swapping all of the cast and characters’ names. Susannah York plays Cathryn, Cathryn Harrison plays Susannah (who, in a moment of perfect, unnerving realization later in the film, says “I think I’m going to be just like you” to York). In terms of the men in Cathryn’s life, Altman stalwart Rene Auberjonois portrays Hugh, Hugh Millais portrays Marcel, and Marcel Bozzuffi portrays Rene. Identity is all but annihilated which keeps the viewer off-balance and the tension ever-shifting.

Up to this point, Images would be Altman’s most intimate film which has perhaps lent to its relative obstructiveness in Altman’s oeuvre. Coming hot on the heels of the megacast and decidedly anti-authoritarian M*A*S*H and Brewster McCloud but before the giant wave of films that would cement Altman’s style (namely The Long Goodbye and California Split), Images is a curious, lonely beast that, despite Susannah York’s Best Actress win at the Cannes Film Festival that year, is only beginning to gets its due almost fifty years after its release. This just a little more than unfortunate as Images uses the manifestation of madness through architecture and space in such a a way that puts it in the exact same company as Robert Wise’s The Haunting, Roman Polanski’s Repulsion, Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, and Ari Aster’s Hereditary.

And Images is yet another exhibit in what was becoming Altman’s hobby, namely genre bending. In fact, this may be his very most successful. While every other movie seems to function within its respective genre while also obliterating the conventions, nobody doubts that, say, The Long Goodbye is a mystery or that Thieves Like Us is a crime picture. Yet despite the legitimate chills and shocks that come from Images (and there are plenty), it’s only been since until recently that it’s been accepted as a horror film even though it is almost explicitly so. However, this might also be more due to the arbitrary boundaries put on horror films in general which causes discussions surrounding them to devolve into qualifying nonsense where something gets described as “elevated horror.”

Images is also the first film since The Delinquents in which Altman takes full screenplay credit. That being said, all of Susannah York’s narration is hers as it incorporates In Search of Unicorns, an actual children’s book she authored and released in 1973 (and for which she is given full credit at the end). This detail in which Altman utilizes and injects elements of reality onto his cinematic canvas had already felt during the shooting of McCabe & Mrs. Miller where the cast had to choose and mend their own costumes throughout the entire production. But by incorporating York’s actual book as a double for Cathryn’s, Images takes on a multi-dimensioned life of its own which predated the kind of extraordinary hands-on approach to the country music that would be deployed by his cast in Nashville or the in-the-mix of media and politics that would give life to Tanner ‘88.

On a technical level, Images is a stunner. Masterfully dressed by production designer Leon Ericksen, the film has an almost tactile quality and is enormously clever. From Hugh’s complicated folding glasses to the numerous cameras, lenses, stereopticons, and the ocular designs in her headboard, Cathryn lives a life overloaded with optical tchotchke and bric-a-brac where she always feels seen. The subtle details that seem to appear in both Cathryn and Hugh’s home in town and in Green Cove gives off the impression that the film may not take place anywhere outside of Cathryn’s mind. Every detail seems to have a match and every thread seems to be tied.

Pulling off some fluid camerawork alongside more static moments that reveal exquisite, painterly compositions which come alive with York’s beautifully tempered narration of passages from her book, Vilmos Zsigmond’s cinematography is just achingly gorgeous and it gives Images the sheen of a dark fairy tale set in a haunted, mystical land. John Williams garnered an Oscar nomination for his stately and creepy score which is often and effectively punctuated by sharp and discordant sounds by Japanese composer Stomu Yamashta.

In the beginning of Altman’s next film, The Long Gooodbye, driving gloves are introduced in a key moment, offering a visual clue to the film’s mystery to the audience without also revealing it to Philip Marlowe. Five years later, the shared DNA of Cathryn and Frances would most certainly find its way into Shelley Duvall and Sissy Spacek’s characters in 3 Women. And while these seem like trivial details that might even be described as wild reaches, if we were to take Altman at his word in that all of his movies served as one continuous film, it’s hard to argue that these things that floated downstream and lodged themselves explicitly in Altman’s future projects weren’t the consciously laid soft-tissue connections that joined his entire cinema together like a massive, gorgeous tapestry.

The Cloverfield Paradox

So what exactly is The Cloverfield Paradox supposed to be about? A bunch of people on a spaceship that is spazzing out big time? I get what they were going for here, a cool cosmic origin story for the Lovecraftian genre-games of the other two films but this is one slapdash, nonsensical bit of silliness that doesn’t feel warranted or like it has its solid footing in the mythology of this story or simply being an effective SciFi horror at all. In an attempt to provide both backstory, context and texture to both the excellent Cloverfield and its subsequent sequel 10 Cloverfield Lane (which I also was disappointed by, but that’s for another review), this tells the story of an intergalactic mission to quell an incoming war on a distant planet by presenting an energy saving device. A crew from earth does their best but the invention ends up being a mistake, ripping a new orifice in time and space and and causing the forces of physics and reality to do some serious monkeying around. This offers up vague explanations for the monster in Cloverfield, the extraterrestrials in 10 Lane and *some* weird shit that happens in this one too but it’s never enough, never explained clearly and never seems as much fun as it should based on the potential of the overall premise. It’s a shame because they’ve given this thing the royal treatment in terms of casting, which includes Gugu Mbatha-Raw, David Oyelowo, Daniel Brühl, John Ortiz, Chris O’ Dowd, Aksel Hennie, Ziyi Zhang, Simon Pegg, Greg Grunberg, Donal Logue, Elizabeth Debicki and more. None of them really get much to do though and seem a bit lost in the uncharted stars of this underdeveloped narrative that tries to be dread inducing and Lovecraftian and just feels like a cosmic sinkhole of muddled missed opportunity. It’s starts off pretty good and the atmosphere of impending ‘something’ as they prepare to activate the device is palpable and exhilarating and then… it’s just loses steam quicker than I’ve ever seen based on the potential it had. Maybe it has something to do with being rushed into production to be released on the fly after a super-bowl game? That in itself is a great promotional idea and tremendously exciting but then at least make sure your film is as engaging and terrific as your marketing campaign because this thing has more issues than National Geographic. Pass.

-Nate Hill

Jason Krawczyk’s He Never Died

Henry Rollins screams out energetically from the not so subtle DVD artwork of He Never Died making the film appear to be a loud, obnoxious “rocker does a horror flick” type deal. I mean, it is technically that but Rollins is a great actor independent of his musical career and this film is far quieter, more muted and meandering than that melodramatic, operatic poster seems. Henry is Jack, a tired, very stoic and reserved fellow who, as we gradually learn, is in fact some sort of immortal angel, demon or other biblical figure who has been obligated to walk the earth since the very dawn of time, forced to feed on humans to retain his life force. These days he hangs around nocturnal Toronto doing not much of anything except attending an all night diner where the waitress (Kate Greenhouse) flirts with him, protecting the daughter (Jordan Todosey) of a former (brief) flame from dark forces, employing a hospital intern (Booboo Stewart) who provides him with blood bags and generally just moping about trying to kill time until a life resolution he’s not sure will ever come. Most of the people in his life aren’t content with leaving him alone though, so we have a series of darkly comic, noir tinged misadventures when several mob factions target him for murky reasons, he plays a lot of bingo, beats up a lot of dudes, tries his best to protect the waitress and his friend’s kid if only by default or boredom and just sort of… exists at a dull roar. Rollins is such an interesting dude in terms of character and charisma, not to mention that imposing hewn granite frame and intense obsidian glare. He adopts a hilariously stoic persona here, absolutely unflappably impassive until he gets to the end of his rope and sparks fly, it’s a terrific performance and one of the rare showcase lead roles he’s been gifted. Like I said, this isn’t at all like the posters suggest, it’s a lot more like a laidback ‘hang out’ type film with just a vague flavour of horror and a zig-zaggy feel to it that’s a lot of fun, provided you’re in the mood for something mellow, loose and experimental that doesn’t have very high plot ambitions and is more content to cruise along in neutral with the occasional blast of nitrous when it’s characters feel like getting frisky. Good times.

-Nate Hill

Indie Gems: Paul Fox’s The Dark Hours

There’s home invasion films and then there’s whatever pseudo-psychological cosmic fuckery that transpires in Paul Fox‘s The Dark Hours, and I mean that in the best way possible way, this is a superior Canadian indie shocker that will knock your teeth out with its cunning verbosity, ruthless edge, terrifying villains and spooky atmospherics. Kate Greenhouse is Dr. Samantha Goodman, a veteran psychiatrist with a lot of inmates turned enemies who is spending some time away from her practice at a remote rural cabin with her hubbie (Gordon Currie) and little sis (Iris Graham). Unfortunately a former patient she once used shady malpractice on has followed her out there though, menacing serial rapist/murderer Harlan Pyne (Aiden Devine) with his twitchy, violent teen protege (Dov Tiefenbach) in tow. Harlan is extremely unstable, narcoleptic, sociopathic and out for mind-games, murder and revenge most sweet. Cue a very violent, anxiety inducing close quarters battle as we see the (not so?) good doctor match will, wit and physicality with this deadly psychopath and his monkeying lackey. Or do we? The third act of the film throws some metaphysical, supremely psychologically dense curveballs our way and there’s a reason for this: Samantha suffers from an inoperable brain tumour that causes unreliable rifts in perception, waking visions and all manner of cognitive disruptions. Additionally and for fascinating reasons that I won’t spoil.. Pyne suffers from the same type of ailments. So, we have an unreliable protagonist *and* an unreliable antagonist in an eerie setting with other characters orbiting them as cannon fodder for this brain damaged showdown and the result is nothing short of electrifying. The script is terse, intelligent, full of dark humour and vivid character eccentricity, the horror is shocking, genuinely unpredictable and very disturbing, the performances are raw, lithe and full of life and the overall aesthetic feels like a delicious concoction of Panic Room with splashes of Memento by way of the cabin in the woods motif. The very definition of a hidden gem, and a terrific film. This is streaming nowhere and dvds are apparently hard to find but there’s a decent version on YouTube, anyone can DM/email if they would like the link.

-Nate Hill

Matt Palmer’s Calibre

It’s funny how in one instance of miscalculation, a situation can turn deadly and lives can spiral irreparably out of control. Matt Palmer’s Calibre, a stunning Scottish Netflix original thriller, shows just what happens when two Edinburgh pals (Jack Lowden & Martin McCann) venture out into the rural highlands for a hunting trip and some friendly interaction with the local townsfolk, some of which are amicable and receptive towards these two city boys, and others who are not. But… it’s their own damn fault if I’m being honest. Firstly, after a night of pubs and partying, one of them gives cocaine to a troubled local gal and ends up sleeping with her, which already puts them in hot water with her volatile father and his goons. What really gets them up the creek though is when they accidentally shoot and kill a hiking father and his eleven year old kid on their hunting excursion, and instead of simply telling the villagers what they’ve done and fessing up like real men, they bury the bodies and play dumb like a couple of pansy fools. Well something like that never stays buried and soon it’s a nerve frying game of suspense as to when these two bodies will be found, how the townsfolk will correlate the city boys involvement and what will be done about it. There’s a lot of films where city folk piss off country folk and horrible things happen, but this one ditches the lurid, pulpy overtones of something like Deliverance and levels with us on a plane that’s decidedly more down to earth and grounded, yet no less chilling. As in many tight knit small town communities there are two elders who collectively call the shots but have differing outlooks and personalities: a hotheaded, violent piece of work with unchecked rage issues (Brian McClay, Scotland’s answer to Ray Liotta) who wants to deal with the these two swiftly and ruthlessly, and a more level headed, calm and rational man (Tony Curran, excellent) who wants to aim for the least damaging outcome. These two provide terrific performances and a fascinating dynamic for this brutal, tragic turn of events to unfold in. I’ll be honest, I was rooting for these townsfolk the entire time; they were initially hospitable, reasonable albeit rowdy people who did their best to be nice to these outsiders, who in turn showed them disrespect at every turn and instantly made neglectful, stupid decisions to get themselves into trouble, then into further trouble. What did they think was going to happen? This story plays out in very believable fashion, the characters behave in a way that makes sense, cliches are consistently and cleverly avoided and substituted with realistic beats and relatable human character decisions, it works as a crackling thriller, dark morality play, grim cautionary tale and atmospheric rural nightmare. Great film.

-Nate Hill

Disney’s The Watcher In The Woods

Disney used to do a lot of cool, creaky old live action films back in the day, awesomely retro SciFi/horror/adventure type stuff, and while not as timeless or important to me as others of its type, The Watcher In The Woods is still an atmospheric enough piece with beautiful UK locations, eerie sound design and a solemn, spooky performance from Bette Davis. She plays the widowed owner of a massive Victorian mansion in the English countryside who rents part of her home out to an American family for reasons that I still can’t quite figure out, but it has something to do with her daughter who died on the grounds under mysterious circumstances decades before. It isn’t long before the eldest daughter (Lynn-Holly Johnson) starts t have strange visions, hears things on the edge of the woods outside the property and dreams of a ghostly blindfolded girl who cries out for help. This all escalates into an impressively supernatural yet still down to earth series of plot revelations anchored by Davis and her intense eyes and well acted by everyone. The youngest daughter is played by Kyle Richards who we remember as Lindsay Wallace in John Carpenter’s Halloween which packs in some further horror pedigree. I’ll admit I wasn’t as won over by this film as I thought I would be, but I think I built it up too much. I have been searching for this one for years, it’s far too expensive to buy on Amazon and Disney plus neglected to add it to their stable for some reason (they’re notorious for that vault-hoarding bullshit) so my only hope was thrifting. I did eventually score a DVD and was beyond excited but it just didn’t grab me like some films of its kind do. Terrifically eerie sound design and atmosphere for days, but the story felt like it could have been tighter, more focused and amped up.

-Nate Hill

Underworld: Awakening

Underworld: Awakening picks up the relative slack of Revolution and rejoins Selene’s story once again after the rousing medieval diversion of Rise Of The Lycans and is one of the strongest, most action packed and exciting entries so far. This one is cool because it goes for a shocking and ambitious premise: the human population on earth have somehow found out about the vampire and Lycan races and it’s caused all kinds of chaos. A human CDC kingpin (Stephen Rea) concocts a shady plan full of tainted vaccines, inter species psuedo genetic modification and various hidden agendas that poses a real threat to both sides while Kate Beckinsale’s Selene, who never seems to get a moments rest, wakes up from some kind of cryo-sleep in Rea’s spooky lab and must fight her way out, figure out his sinister plan and protect the daughter (India Eisley) she never knew she had from all these nefarious forces. There is a fucking tremendous amount of action in this one, nearly wall to wall and it just might have some of the most impressive set pieces, or at least the most satisfying for me as a fan. Rea is no stranger to the vampire/werewolf genres, he’s done vicious turns for Neil Jordan in both Interview With The Vampire and The Company Of Wolves. He makes a formidable enemy for Selene here and gets to chew scenes in that kind of super low key, almost laidback but still menacing way he’s perfected as an actor. Also in his employ is a strange Lycan super-breed who becomes the size of a literal tank when he transforms, so there are numerous incredibly badass sequences of her fighting this gigantic tank-sized werewolf that are so much brutal fun. She also finds herself at the bottom of an elevator shaft at one point with the speeding elevator in free fall headed right for her. Being the franchise that this is, she simply empties countless rounds from her guns into its incoming floor until it’s perforated with bullet holes and she can literally punch right through it. So. Fucken. Cool. Once again this franchise is not gonna be everyone’s thing and even for those who liked the first, these might get a bit repetitive but this world, action, effects, atmosphere and overall aesthetic is just so up my dark alley I could literally never get tired of them, and this was one of my favourites so far.

-Nate Hill