Tag: spooky

Santiago Menghini’s No One Gets Out Alive

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

No One Gets Out Alive is a hell of a title for a horror movie and the movie therein better live up to it, which in this case it sure damn does. This is a sensational film, one that has ghosts, body horror, Aztec lore, demonology, leering psychopaths, social commentary and some of the most chilling, effective scares I’ve seen of late. The story tells of young Mexican girl Ambar (Christina Rodlo) living illegally in the US and working for cash at a depressing sweatshop, trying to save up for a forged American visa. She rents a room in a spooky old converted mansion ran by weary, creepy Red, played by Mark Menchaca who seems to be carving out a nice little niche for himself these days in playing memorable horror antagonists. Something is very, very wrong in this house and no sooner has she unpacked her bags she’s seeing phantasms behind every corner, hearing weird noises all over the place and having terrifying waking nightmares. Is it haunted? Or something far worse? The film takes the already unfortunate and desperate situation of a woman of colour living alone and off the record in the USA, the danger of deportation always an element, and then whisks her right out of the frying pan into the fires of a dangerous supernatural predicament and the result is, intense to say the least. I won’t spoil what’s really going on in the house but I will say that the film offers up one of the most visually staggering, indescribably bizarre, nightmarishly breathtaking movie monsters I’ve ever seen in horror. Seriously, if you think that weird deer demigod thing in The Ritual was odd, just wait til you see this one, it’s truly imaginative nightmare fuel and took me right off guard. Director Santiago Menghini has his feature debut here and it’s one of the strongest I’ve ever seen. Spatially aware camera movements, optical tricks and careful layers of light, darkness and colour make this an unnerving haunted house to get lost in. The gore is truly shocking, the characters are well drawn and realistic and like I said, that monster is simply one for the books, in this case the Guinness Book of Coolest Horror Movie Monsters Ever. Great film.

-Nate Hill

Netflix’s The Chestnut Man

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

The Scandinavians really seem to like their grim, chilly serial killer procedurals, The Chestnut Man being the latest Netflix offering from Denmark that gets about as grim, nasty and dark as these kind of narratives ever do. It’s a bit of a jumble to be honest, needlessly overstuffed with characters, subplots, hairpin turns, red herrings, dead ends and asides. As the story opens, police in a rural town outside Copenhagen discover a string of ruthless murders, each crime scene eerily decorated with a little figurine made from chestnuts. That’s their main clue going into an investigation involving a dozen different cops, social workers, a coroner, a bunch of old sealed records dating back to foster homes and adoptions and so many moving parts and dense plot content it made my head spin. I’m sure the story is in fact a concise series of events that check out logically and the reason I got so lost was because I binged this entire thing on a night where I was spectacularly exhausted and just could not focus. I will say that this production has some gorgeous spooky Fall vibes, they seem to have shot in autumn, which makes sense for a killer that needs a constant supply of chestnuts I suppose, but there are some truly breathtaking overhead shots of seasonal forests all steeped in golden brown and auburn hues. There’s also some razor sharp, terrifying suspense that’s extremely well orchestrated and effectively scary as well. Sometimes the material gets oppressively dark and so bleak it can be off putting, there are themes of child abuse that are directly depicted, and the murderer himself is one heinous motherfucker who doesn’t discriminate one bit in victim selection or brutal methodology, so just bring an iron lined stomach for this one. It’s got great atmosphere, thrills n’ chills that mostly work and it’s a quick six episode binge, but I almost feel like it could have been a two and a half hour feature film and in doing so, strip away a lot of the excess narrative clutter because at times I felt like I needed a big pinup board with photos of all the characters in relation to each other, just to keep track.

-Nate Hill

Witchboard

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

80’s horror veers all across the board from campy to atmospheric and everywhere in between but I think my favourite specific aesthetic from that era is, and it’s a bit hard to describe in written words, the sort of super dialed-up sexy, billowing curtains in night breezes set to spooky kinky sax/electronic music, permed hair, Ken-doll, Harlequin Romance-esque, impossibly attractive stars, ridiculously lurid 80’s style horror. Make sense? Stuff like the original Fright Night, Spellbound, parts of Hellraiser fit the bill. I am pleasantly surprised to be able to add Witchboard into the category as well, it’s a spectacular horror film I’d never heard of until it popped up on shudder but one that now owns the Ouija board sub-genre for me. It stars Todd Allen, Stephen Nichols and the late Tawny Kitaen as three childhood friends who grew up but never got out of the dysfunctional love triangle they’ve always been in. After fooling around with a Ouija board one night they find themselves in deep supernatural shit when two long dead spirits fixate on them, one the ghost of a little boy who is more or less harmless, the other a frightening, dangerous phantasm who wants them all dead. Now, this could have easily been a cheesy, routine haunting flick full of bumps in the night, POV shots and endless chase scenes but instead they’ve made it packed with dripping atmosphere, full of measured suspense and some writing and characterization that was far more mature and grounded than I was expecting. The two male leads have a genuine history together and their arc develops with believable friction and camaraderie. It’s so sad that Tawny Kitaen passed away so young, this is the first film I’ve ever seen with her but she’s just the *perfect* badass scream Queen in every way. Gotta give a shout out to Kathleen Wilhoite (Twin Peaks, Colour Of Night) too as an outlandish spiritual medium who is so impossibly over the top and adds the only element of genuine camp to the film. The score by Dennis Michael Tenney (Night Of The Demons, Leprechaun) is a beautiful, occasionally legit scary composition that for me stands with the best Carpenter electronic jangles and adds so much to the film. This is one of the coolest 80’s horrors I’ve seen in some time, and I can’t wait to check out the sequels to complete the trilogy.

-Nate Hill

Neil Marshall’s Hellboy

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

Why we couldn’t have just gotten a third Hellboy movie with Guillermo Del Toro and Ron Perlman at the wheel is beyond me, instead of this grossly miscalculated, eye melting mish-mash of bad CGI and disorganized storytelling. It’s sad too because it could have even been decent, they got an accomplished filmmaker I really love and a handful of super awesome cult icon actors to cast the material appropriately, but somewhere along the line of creative process, Neil Marshall’s Hellboy just shits the bed and comes out largely a piss poor effort. I love David Harbour too, he’s a terrifically charismatic and versatile artist but he just doesn’t fit the bill here, his Hellboy comes across as whiny, dour and all the wisecracking fells inorganic and forced. Plus let’s face it, there just wasn’t any hope for any other actor than Perlman to properly sell the character, plain and simple, he was born for it. Harbour’s Hellboy is stuck in a murky plot line about an ancient evil sorceress called the Blood Queen (Milla Jovovich) who has been resurrected by a human/wild boar hybrid to wreak havoc on humanity in some vaguely malicious ritual that involves knockoff Del Toro creatures stomping around London ripping people in half, cue the tiresome CGI. It’s loud, messy, the gore is off putting and there’s just too much noise and commotion to properly discern story or character. Does it do anything effectively? Yes, credit where credit is due, there’s a wonderfully eerie sequence where the pace mercifully calms down a bit as Hellboy visits a terrifying monster called the Baba Yaga, it’s essentially an expository interlude but it’s handled incredibly well, full of tangible atmosphere and genuine terror. Some of the cast fare pretty well, Ian McShane is always awesome and adds a brittle, corrosive edge to Trevor Broom where John Hurt was more subdued. The lovely Sasha Lane is quite effective as a member of the paranormal defence team who is a medium and can summon dead spirits in a genie-like mass of ectoplasmic slime, but Daniel Dae Kim comes across painfully lifeless as a guy who can only be described as the offspring of a werewolf and a cheetah. Most of the supporting cast are just drowned out in a flurry of noise including Sophie Okonedo as a ghost lady, Brian Gleeson as Merlin (yes, that Merlin) and a brief, bizarre appearance from Thomas Haden Church as some dude whose name is Lobster (can you tell I haven’t read the comics?). The film just doesn’t work, aside from a few exceptions that come too little, too late. Everywhere the Del Toro films were tactile, colourful, atmospheric and well written this one is obnoxious, needlessly gory, rushed and unwieldy. You’re better off just revisiting those and pretending this one doesn’t exist.

-Nate Hill

Gigi Saul Guerrero’s Bingo Hell

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

Gigi Saul Guerrero’s Bingo Hell is a clever, super gory, socially conscious little slice of societal satire wrapped in a vicious, slimy cautionary tale, it comes to us as part of the yearly round of borderline anthology output called “Welcome To Blumhouse”, ostensibly a mini horror film festival with fierce, imaginative original entries from new filmmakers. Set in an obscure L.A. barrio that’s halfway towards tofu eating, hipster overrun gentrification and halfway hanging onto the old school ways for dear life, a group of elderly friends finds themselves forced into a jarring new way of life when their beloved, modest bingo hall gets bought out by a mysterious magnate named Mr. Big (the inimitable Richard Brake). Led by feisty Lupita (Adriana Barraza), these old timers make a stand and fight to fend off the advances of this sinister businessman who is using obviously supernatural methods to lure members of their group in with promises of big wins and big bucks, an act of selling their soul to the grind of progress that has hellish, gory, ill fated consequences. The themes are surprisingly grounded for such a quick, breezy Grindhouse flick and one gets a real sense of care put into the script. Barraza is a fierce protagonist and Brake, as usual, makes a leering, memorable, deranged cartoonish villain in the best way, a living personification of of Big Money mania, he’s a presence that serves any film well. I’m reminded of last years VFW, a somewhat similar horror film about old timers defending what’s theirs from encroaching forces. They both have the same neon soaked, madcap gory vibes that I love to see in the genre. This is a solid effort from an exciting new voice in horror, and I’m stoked to see what she creates next.

-Nate Hill

Neasa Hardiman’s Sea Fever

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

I love a good aquatic set horror movie, whether the events take place down below in the depth in a submarine or on the surface in a boat. Neasa Hardiman’s Sea Fever is a solid offering that features a bit of both of these worlds, set aboard a trawler somewhere off the Irish coast that encounters something previously undiscovered in the animal kingdom. Captained by a veteran couple (Dougray Scott & Connie Nielsen, always welcome in my book), the boat soon finds itself marooned way out in open water as some massive, otherworldly creature attaches itself to their hull with with powerful phosphorescent tentacles and holds them in stasis. It’s up to a loner marine biology major (Hermione Corfield) to try and discover the nature of this animal and how to get it off their craft, but soon it becomes clear that this thing has a terrifying way of reproduction that involves tiny spores ending up in human anatomy systems after which some truly shocking body horror commences. The scenes of horror are bloody, frantic and genuinely disturbing but they’re juxtaposed with an ethereal beauty and reverence for this creature, and the power that nature has over us as a species. One character even observes that this animal isn’t malicious or evil but simply mistook their boat for another large animal and did what is in its nature: attempt to feed and reproduce. There’s a compassion there in the scriptwriting that you don’t often have in these types of horror films, and it gives it a different aura overall. We never truly see the creature in its entirety but the luminous encroaching limbs emanating ghostly blue light from the deep and the vague suggestion of a vast body mass below it are incredibly haunting, almost profound images that linger with you. If you’re a fan of aquatic horror in the vein of things like The Abyss, DeepStar 6, Leviathan and The Rift you’ll get a kick out of this. It’s restrained yet scary, brutal yet lyrical and does a great job at evoking atmosphere.

-Nate Hill

Ant Timpson’s Come To Daddy

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

Come To Daddy is a fairly… unnerving title for a horror movie, it just suggests all manner of demented depravities, so needless to say I went into this one expecting to be… jarred, lol. It was a bit less messed up than I was geared up for, but it’s still a slice of darkly humorous, cheerfully sadistic fun that is genuinely tough to predict as each bizarre new plot point barrels along like a sideshow act at a circus freak show. Speaking of freak shows, Elijah Wood has been deliberately choosing some of the most crazy, weird, off the wall horror scripts in the last few years, stuff like Wayne Kramer’s Pawn Shop Chronicles, Grand Piano and Maniac. This can be squarely added in that category and might even be the strangest in his latter day run of Midnite style horror stuff. Here he plays a fellow called Norval, a semi celebrity DJ (or so he says, anyway) who journeys to Tofino, BC to see his long estranged father (Stephen McHattie) at his remote beach house. Things get odd pretty quick, as daddy seems to be acting anything but like a father, tension mounts, behaviours get increasingly nuts and… I’ll leave it at that, because the plot is one deranged ball of diseased yarn that unravels with stunning arbitration and hilariously madcap, nonsensical abandon, to the point where at times it feels like the writer had a mini stroke at his keyboard and the misfiring neurons took over for the third act. Wood is the Oxford definition of ‘wide eyed’ and while his presence in films can often irk me somehow (don’t even get me going on his fucking haircut in this one), it’s played to effect here where you’re almost supposed to mock this guy and his self applied role as some famous arthouse DJ (snicker). Aforementioned ‘wide eyed’ attribute goes along way here and I promise you my eyes somehow got wider than his as I watched this thing unfold alongside him, both of us confused, perplexed and utterly revolted. McHattie is Canadian acting royalty, an absolute invincible workhorse of supporting villains, indie leads and big budget character actor work, he’s been spinning gold in his craft for decades, often thanklessly, I love the guy to bits and he just lights up a screen with brittle, organic, terrifying charisma every time. His role here is hysterical, a hard drinking, volcanically unstable, verbally abusive, mentally corroded old fucker whose next move is always unpredictable, the guy could just as well pour you a drink as smash the glass across your face and laugh in it, and he lets it rip here. As much as I’d love to mention the rest of the cast (who are all terrific as well) I simply can’t do it without spoiling this thing, which I promised myself I wouldn’t do. It’s well worth a look, for the beautiful coastal Canadian cinematography (Tofino is a happy place for me), for the shocking, disarming black humour, for the certifiably insane performances, McHattie’s in particular, and just the sheer dedication to madhouse intensity, unpredictable thrills and grab-bag scriptwriting. Great stuff.

-Nate Hill

Villains

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

Some films are good, some are bad and some are great, but there are those that can only be described as an utter delight and Villains fits that bill. It’s one of those demented, go for broke horror comedies that doesn’t always add up or coalesce it’s various tones together symmetrically but goddamn of it isn’t a blast of pitch black humour, blessed practical gore effects and four lead performances that truly push the boundaries of the craft of acting into something else. Maika Monroe and Bill Skarsgard play two unbelievably dumb petty criminals, a sort of dimestore Bonnie & Clyde, who run out of gas as they’re on the run after robbing… wait for it… a gas station. Their only option is to break into the nearest, and only, house in the area to look for more options and it’s there they find a five year old girl chained up in the basement, and must contend with the homeowners, a deranged pair of loons played with American Apple Pie hospitality and charm by Jeffrey Donovan and Kyra Sedgwick. These two chipper darlings are as crazy as they come and have soon ensnared the two wayward youngsters in their bizarre antics, while the two race to outsmart them and free the poor mute girl below. The plot can be kind of random and wanton, but the real treasure here lies in the meticulously calibrated, phenomenal acting work from all four and the razor sharp, diabolical scriptwriting to back them up. Monroe is already horror royalty from modern classics like It Follows and The Guest, while it goes without saying that Skarsgard is squarely in the pantheon for his portrayal of a certain evil clown. They work brilliantly together because they both lose their trademark moody, withdrawn and wistful styles of acting for a bubbly, effervescent, mile-a-minute-slapstick concoction that is joyous to watch, and manage manage to find a genuine sweetness and caring for each other that shines through all the more madcap, lurid elements and makes them rough yet lovable and blessedly bumbling characters to invest in. Donovan has slowly been building a repertoire of darkly sarcastic, terrifyingly dangerous villains in stuff like FX’s Fargo, Let Him Go and more, his work here is a class act in balancing insanity, southern charm and sudden bursts of punishing sadism. Sedgwick is a natural beauty who has this spotless Miss America aura to her that she turns on its head and plays to full effect as the mot certifiably bonkers character in the story, she’s at once scary, pitiable, sultry and hysterical. This is one of those specific, special flicks like Raimi’s Evil Dead or Friedkin’s Killer Joe where the story might not always play by the rules or stay on the tracks but you really don’t care because the actors just tear the scenery to shreds, the laughs and violence come fast and furious, there are even a few arthouse flourishes sprinkled in and it’s just such a wild fuckin ride. Great film.

-Nate Hill

Dominic Sena’s Season Of The Witch

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

Dominic Sena’s Season Of The Witch is one of those glossy, noisy supernatural medieval romps that somehow hovers on the line between feeling like a big budget blockbuster and a direct to video outing. It stars Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman as two veteran knights of the crusades who become disillusioned with their often brutal cause and the unfortunate civilian casualties that accompany it. They set out on their own as freelance mercenaries and are soon hired by a plague-ridden Cardinal (a near unrecognizable Christopher Lee) to transport a suspected witch (Claire Foy)… somewhere, I wasn’t really paying attention but it involves lots of snowy mountains, dangerous bridge crossings and eventually a spooky old castle for the grand finale. This is pretty run of the mill stuff, the CGI is really weak, the plot is inexcusably thin, historical accents are dodgy and the PG-13 rating pretty much guarantees a lack of genuine bite or edge as far as horror is concerned. It’s mediocre on almost every level but for some reason I found myself enjoying bits of it, despite my best efforts. I think that it has to do with Cage and Perlman, who are both terrific here and really deserve to be in a better film. They’ve never acted together before but they have effortless bromance chemistry here, they take full advantage of the writing and simply seeing them bantering, bickering or slinging tavern pints together is kind of a small delight. Aside from them it’s generic, the supporting cast includes familiar faces like Stephen Graham, Ulrich Thomsen, Rory ‘The Hound’ McCann, Brian F. O’Byrne and Robert Sheehan who all try valiantly to make impressions with… varied results. The problem too is that the film promises us a witch and when it comes time to deliver they reveal that this chick isn’t really a witch at all, she’s something far worse and unfortunately something that the film just didn’t seem to have enough budget bucks to properly present onscreen, and it hurts its chances. Still, it’s worth a look for the beautiful, rugged scenery (filmed mainly in Austria) plus Cage and Perlman, who are legitimately engaging and perhaps someday will get a better film to do their buddy-cop knights edition routine.

-Nate Hill

Larry Cohen’s The Stuff

by natewatchescoolmovies, posted in Film Review

The Stuff is all the rage and people can’t seem to get enough lol, in a dusty, hazy old Larry Cohen flick that Shudder has salvaged for a VHS quality transfer. This is a great little schlock flick as long as you ignore the sheer, hilarious lack of a proper beginning or ending, seriously this thing just… starts without any sort of introduction and then when it’s had it’s fun it just… ends, quite unceremoniously as if there were multiple reels missing from the original print. What’s in between is top shelf schlock with bizarrely earnest performances from a terrific cast and some gloriously gooey, visually stimulating practical effects. Hollywood character actor royalty and Cohen regular Michael Moriarty plays some kind of corporate investigator who is mighty suspicious of The Stuff.. what is ‘The Stuff’, exactly? It’s a sentient, gelatinous white goo that literally bubbles up from crevices beneath the earth and has now been patented by a food processing conglomerate and marketed as a tasty ice cream style dessert, to massive popularity and demand from the public. Only problem is, this stuff has a malicious agenda and not only inspires dangerous cravings and maniacal addiction in its indulgers, it takes over their minds and even physically attacks them. As in all Cohen flicks there is deft social satire woven in amongst the slime and there’s something in here about mad consumerism and the unchecked corporate greed that fuels it, brought to deadpan life by some truly great actors having a blast of hammy fun. Moriarty is always on his A game and rocks it here, with a crisp suit and cowboy boots as oiled up as his attitude, while we are treated to great supporting work from Paul Sorvino as an impossibly patriotic army colonel and the late great Danny Aiello as a smarmy company man who gets his just desserts. There’s a genuinely creepy sequence where a young boy’s entire family, now mentally enslaved by The Stuff, cajoles and coerces him into eating it, it’s a terrifically suspenseful midsection interlude that’s most effective in raising tension. My favourite aspect of the film are the effects used for The Stuff, which are brilliantly tactile, wonderfully animate and really do feel like a disgusting 7-11 dessert full of horrible ingredients that has somehow come to life, like they melted down the Stay Puft marshmallow man from Ghostbusters and the remaining ectoplasmic goo started running about the place Terminator 2 style. I don’t know if a Blu Ray or even DVD transfer exists for this but the version Shudder has gotten it’s hands on is so shockingly low quality it’s tough to understand everything that’s happening onscreen but on the other hand it adds atmosphere and ‘lo-fi VHS’ vibes that are appropriate considering the tone of the film. Good Stuff.

-Nate Hill