B Movie Glory: Critical Mass

Seldom does a film so blatantly rip off actual footage from another one like Critical Mass does, a two bit Speed/Die Hard spawn that lifts scenes right out of James Cameron’s Terminator 2 with no shame and little attempts to cover it’s tracks. Remember that scene where Arnie stands on the roof with the mini gun and blasts endless clips into cop cars? Well this one intercuts super terrorist Udo Kier holding nothing but an MP5 or something similarly small, yet the editing still shows that same massive amounts of destruction that the T-101’s high power cannon would cause. On top of that, they *clearly* show the Cyberdyne Systems signs right in frame several times. Wow. Points for no fucks given, but none whatsoever for effort or originality. Kier is actually fun as the arch radical maniac who wants to hijack nukes to blow shit up for some vague recycled ideology, but he’s always great in any role, no matter the pedigree of film. Treat Williams plays an ex military turned security guard tasked with stopping him, and you can guess where it goes. Cheap, shameless, without a brain in it’s head.

-Nate Hill

B Movie Glory: The Librarians aka Strike Force

Exterior, Miami Beach. A hardened mercenary (everyone’s favourite tough guy, William Forsythe) has just returned the kidnaped daughter of a businessman, and the guy says “I don’t even know what to call you guys.” Forsythe’s Simon replies “Just call us the Librarians… lets just say we return overdue books”, with a straighter face than David Caruso’s Horatio Cain on CSI, another ludicrous Miami tough guy. Anyways, that’s the kind of knowingly asinine B Movie Glory (trademarked at this point) that we have here, but it’s a good bit of fun, to quote a certain Tarantino character. Forsythe’s off the books squad deals in locating the victims of human trafficking, and bringing the pain to those who perpetrate it. He’s joined by Prison Break’s Amaury Nolasco, martial arts star Daniel Bernhardt and former playboy bunny turned B movie maiden Erika Eleniak. Their next task: rescue the kidnaped daughter of a mysterious billionaire (Michael Parks Skypes in a cameo that contains more gravity than the rest of the film combined, not to mention more than it deserves) from the clutches of a slimy crime lord (Andrew Divoff in full villain mode). It’s routine and predictable, punctuated by off the wall one liners, porno lit sex scenes, low grade gunfight last and sloppy hand to hand combat. I still can’t get over that aforementioned snippet of dialogue though, it sums up what glorious little gems like this are all about, encapsulates the B action film and Forsythe delivers it with that knowing little smirk that’s says it all. Watch for familiar faces like Ed Lauter, Forsythe’s own daughter Rebecca, Christopher Atkins and more. Oh yeah, and Burt Reynolds shows up briefly as a shady character credited (he actually had his name removed from the roster, understandably) as ‘Irish’. His first and middle names could be ‘Not’ and ‘Actually’, because the brogue he uses here is worse than Tommy Lee Jones I’m Blown Away and Dennis Hopper in Ticker combined, it’s a perplexing, cringy cameo. Hilarious stuff.

-Nate Hill

Canadian Virtuoso: A chat with actor Nick Mancuso- An interview by Nate Hill

My first interview ever, revisited three years later. Nick is still out there making great art, and this was a fantastic chat!

Recently I had the great honour and privilege to have a chat with legendary Canadian actor, producer and writer Nick Mancuso, an accomplished man of the arts with a career spanning over forty years in film, television and theatre. He has appeared in countless films, including the Under Siege series with Steven Seagal, Rapid Fire with Brandon Lee, Black Christmas, Ticket To Heaven, Captured, Mother Lode alongside Kim Basinger and Charlton Heston, Heartbreakers, In The Mix and countless hidden gem indies. Early in his career he starred in the popular NBC series Stingray, also appearing in shows like Totall Recall 2070, Wild Palms, The Hitchhiker, Poltergeist: The Legacy, The Hunger, Call Of The Wild in which he played John Thornton, The Outer Limits, The Firm, and more. He has also served as the artistic director for the Pier One Theatre in Halifax, during his epic career. He has a wealth of knowledge and experience, some of which he was kind enough to share with me. Here is our interview:

Nate: You have a ferocious intensity and frenzy to a lot of your work, which is equal parts scary, and fascinating. How did you stumble upon that energy and rambunctious, unique vibe within yourself, and apply it to your work throughout your career?

Nick: That’s a good question. What are it’s origins? I guess I was born with it, but I suspect some of it comes from my early childhood experiences in the heart of southern Italy right after the war, in 1948. There was much suffering, much poverty and infant mortality was at 75 percent. These were terrible times, and I almost died from an intestinal infection at age 2. I remember vaguely fighting for my life,  battling to stay alive. In those days people were starving to death in my town of Mammola, and the great migrations for survival began, with almost 18000 people migrating to foreign lands like France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Canada, USA, Australia, Argentina, Brazil. We left in order to survive, in order to have a new life. My family was part of those migrations. I remember my mother, my baby sister and I came in a steerable in the belly of the troop ship the Vulcania from Naples to Halifax. I had to adjust to a whole new life, a new language and a new country. I very much sympathize with those poor people crossing the Mediterranean and dying trying to get to Italy. 7000 drowning every year, it’s a terrible plight of genocidal proportions while the world does nothing. I understand what it means to be an immigrant, to be rejected and to have to fight for everything in order to survive. I suppose those early experiences marked me with that ferocious intensity you refer to. To me the eye of the Tiger is very real. It’s ironic or somehow fitting that my town was also the birthplace of another man who gained world prominence. His name was Pepe Luca and they did a film about his struggles as a warrior in Vietnam, with Sylvester Stallone portraying him. His name was Rambo.

Nate: Thank you for sharing that Nick. You studied psychology early in lif. Did you find that helpful in your acting work, with forming characters?

Nick: I think the study of psychology is mostly a waste of time. As far as the craft and yes the art of acting goes. I refer to the work as psycho-physical labor, which is a misnomer because it implies dualism and really full engagement in the reality of the moment is all that truly matters. Acting is being nothing else. The true actor becomes and is transformed by the imagination, inspired by the vision of the writer, the screenwriter and the playwright. We all have within us the potential for all being and all states of human and yes, even non human consciousness. The actor has a duty to the truth, an impossible task ultimately. All children are natural actors. But we lose that ability as we grow up. It is as Einstein said, that he continued as a grownup to ask the same questions he asked as a child. It very much is child’s games with adult rules, as Sondra Seacat stated. Any knowledge that will fire up the imagination and cause it to manifest into Action is useful, providing it engages the imagination. This is what I’ve meant by Stanislavakian inspiration – to breathe in. Henry Irving, the great British actor of the last century, said of acting that it was a paradox. The actor is and is not himself. It’s the difference between the dry dead notes on the page and the living music of life. No, the study of behavioural psychology was of no value whatsoever as far as the art and craft of acting goes. I did however find the study of homeopathic medecine and Hahnemann’s Materia Medica to be somewhat useful, and Karl Jung very helpful. Very much it’s a child’s game with adult rules. It’s ridiculous to take any of it seriously, what is however necessary is what Constantin Stanislavsky referred to as “gladness”, a glad heart and lightness of spirit, which is easier said than done. Heart surgery is serious business, acting is not.

Nate: Black Christmas: Was that really your voice on the phone as the prowler? (which was terrifying by the way). How did that job find you?

Nick: Yes that was my voice. “Its me Billy”. I did it standing on my head to compress my thorax, but Bob Clark the director did some as well, and a Toronto theatre actress whose name escapes me (mugsy Sweeny?) sorry can’t recall, but I did a play with her by Des Macnuff (directed Jersey Boys on Broadway) at the old Toronto free theatre now, Canstage. I was a stage actor, I don’t even think I got a credit, and it’s ironic that that first little film became a cult hit. I recently did an interview and narration for the re-release by Anchor Bay. I think I made a hundred bucks and never a cent since then. Ain’t showbiz grand?

Nate: Stingray: How was it in a lead role for a television series? Did it shift things greatly in your career at the time?

Nick: Well yeah…it did.. I was starring in my own tv series for NBC…short lived as it was. Two years after it was cancelled they realized they had a hit and tried to reorder it, but I was starring in another short lived series called Matrix, weirdly enough with Carrie Anne Moss, who went on to do the hit movie The Matrix.  The two had nothing to do with each other, but my career had been filled with such oddities. By the way Stingray was based on a pilot I wrote, or at least improvised with Stephen J Cannell called Shack. Steve,  who was truly a great soul, let me write it with him when I was first put under option for ABC in 77. I will always miss Stephen J Cannell who was the Shakespeare of TV in the 70s and 80s, from Rockford Files, A-Team, to Hunter, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Wise Guy and 21 Jump St. A truly amazing creative force and it was an honor to have worked with him. He died young and is very much missed. …

Nate: You have an astounding background in theatre, including the Vancouver Playhouse. How does it compare to film for you, does your passion lie with one more than the other, or have both been equally good to you?

Nick: Theatre is sculpture, film is painting, it takes art and craft. In both cases but they are different mediums and demand different techniques. Brando was a great film actor, the greatest. So was Marilyn Monroe. Olivier was a great stage actor. It’s rare you find both in one artist like Michelangelo, who could both sculpt and paint. I use the analogy of the jet fighter and the astronaut. The stage actor is a jet fighter. He’s in charge. He’s flying the plane, and the film actor is the astronaut, he’s flying higher, he’s flying faster,  every one knows his name but he ain’t flying the pod. The editor, the director and the cinematographer are. It’s not necessary to be an actor to be a star, but it helps. Of the two mediums I like both. Neither have been particularly good to me, but to my mind acting is a vocation, not a profession. Like the priesthood, the true actor is called to it. He or she had no choice but to act…but it is as Brando stated in the end: “a mugs racket”. Would I have done anything else in a career that now spans almost 45 years? Nope. It’s been a great run. Actors are born, not made.

Nate: I’ve heard that you were considered for the role of Indiana Jones. Is there a story behind that?

Nick: Yes, I met with Stephen Spielberg 4 times for the role of Indiana Jones. He screen tested me alone, just him and a camera. One day I walked into his office, and there was a blowup of a check for 80 million dollars, his cut of Star Wars. When he and lucas were students they made a deal that they would share in each others successes and the check was his share. I was told years later that I was the top contender for Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford was a much better choice in my mind, and obviously in the mind of the world. It became one of the highest grossing movies of all time, catapulting Harrison Ford into the celestial heights of film. It’s like all our destinies turn on a dime. Had I gotten the role, my life would have been radically different, but then on the other hand I might not be here typing these words on an Android. Who knew Steve Jobs would create Apple, and that Facebook and Twitter would revolutionize the world we live in? How many steve jobs are out there who just happened to miss one tiny bit of the equation?

Nate: Do you have any upcoming films that you are excited about and would like to mention?

Nick: Yes I’m excited about a film I did called The Performance, beautifully written and directed by Stephen Wallis. It deals with an old stage actor (me) who returns to the theatre he began his career in 40 years ago. I don’t want to give the plot away but it’s the best work I’ve done since Ticket to Heaven, where I was submitted by MGM/UA for a Golden Globe and Oscar nomination. I’m also excited by a film I wrote and star in entitled Born Dead, a neorealustic feature shot on the cold wintry streets of Toronto, about an actor who decides to end it all …powerful performances by local Canadian actors Sean Mcann and Tony  Rosati, as well as a host of street lunatics, alcoholics and drug addicts. It’s in post, and directed by a very talented Armenian Canadian named Robert Gulassarian who to my mind has a real future in the business. On Sept 13 in Toronto at the Toronto Indie Film Festival my film on the life of the beat American poet Gregory Corso will screen at the Carlton Cinemas. I star and cowrote it, and it was shot in Rome, Los Angeles and Calabria, directed by very able and talented young Italian director Matteo Scarfo. I’m hoping to start rehearsals on my Play, Sinatra American Faust, on the life of Frank Sinatra, at the national theatre of Romania which has staged one of my first plays, Dumneu es unMafiot (God is a gangster). As usual I have a lot of irons in the fire and hope to continue doing this work as long as I am able.

Nate: Your work has been an immense inspiration to me in my own process as an actor. Do you have any advice for aspiring students in the craft? Not as far as making it, or finances or anything, more along the lines of honing the craft, creating the characters, and your process.

Nick: At the root of it all is inspiration …The act of creation has only two mortal enemies: seriousness and fear. These two qualities flatten the life force and the artists ability to leap and play. Don’t listen to naysayers and critics, because if they knew what they were talking about, they would be doing it, instead of sitting in the sidelines. Acting has one word in it: Act. Action, Motion, Movement. It’s all about getting off your ass and doing, with the sure knowledge that 9 out of 10 times that bull is going to throw you. I admire bull riders, because they have the qualities an actors needs. Flexibility, resiliency and the ability to brush yourself off with your hat and get back on. They also have two other necessary qualities: The ability to have extensive courage, and the ability to withstand great pain. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Nate: Wow. You have answered my questions and then some, Nick. I am profoundly grateful for this, it’s a wealth of information, and I feel honoured to have spoken with you, even over the cyber causeways of the Internet. Thank you so much for your time and words, it means a lot.

Nick: You’re welcome, Nate.

B Movie Glory: Captured

In a home invasion scenario, where do the lines between stalker and victim get blurred? For cat burglar Robert Breed (Andrew ‘Wishmaster’ Divoff) and hotheaded real estate tycoon Holden Downs (the great Canadian character actor Nick Mancuso), this question leads to a nocturnal game of cat and mouse when the former makes the ill fated decision to bust into the latter’s garage one night and pilfer an expensive automobile. Little does the intruder know, but Downs is a bit of an unhinged basket case and, after several other break ins, has equipped his ride with a self locking, impenetrable steel cage that basically turns it into a prison for whoever is locked inside. This puts both men in an odd position as Downs hold Breed captive inside his car, torments him and projects every little frustration of his own life onto the guy until tempers are high. It’s a somewhat silly concept given the Panic Room style chamber piece treatment, but it’s the two actors who really sell it with their frenzied intensity, particularly serial scene stealer Mancuso who goes for broke with his angry Joker-esque mannerisms. This is blatantly low budget and super rough around the seams, but a serviceable thriller nonetheless, with excellent work from the two actors who make good use of the high concept setup.

-Nate Hill

B Movie Glory: Walled In

Walled In isn’t scary enough to be memorable or original enough to leave a lasting impression, it’s just one of those drab, grey, middle of the road horror flicks that comes and goes as quickly and unceremoniously as a sudden breeze through the room. The only notable reason for it existing beyond background noise is the presence of a few cool actors. Mischa Barton headlines, and despite her teen star shtick I’ve always thought that she’s a really good, engaging actress. Supporting her are Vancouver’s own Deborah Kara Unger and Cameron Bright, who always add class to any venture. Their trio of involvement made it worthwhile for me, but the story and production overall is just a hazy blur. Barton plays an agent for a demolition company who is overseeing the removal of a particularly old building, with some freaky secrets laid into the foundation. Unger is the building’s super creepy caretaker who knows what’s up but ain’t snitching to anyone, while Bright is even less helpful as her weird son. It turns out there’s hidden tombs in the walls where the long dead victims of a mysterious killer were shut in, and even years later the murderer may still be lurking about the place, which should have put Barton in the hot seat for some potentially suspenseful scenes, but alas, it’s a sleepy slog the whole way through. The thing would have been more lively as a video game or something, anything more stimulating than the cable level lack of thrills and chills doled out here. Barton was good, as she always is, but other than her, Unger and Bright, this is just mud.

-Nate Hill

B Movie Glory: Tough Luck

Tough Luck is one of long forgotten low budget crime drama mystery flicks that always contain the same key elements: a seductive femme fatale, a young drifter caught up in sensual intrigue, the jealous older husband/lover, all gilded by lies and the vague threat of violence, which is always inevitable. The loner here is Norman Reedus as a young grifter who comes across a travelling circus run by gypsy Armand Assante and his darkly angelic wife (the stunning Dagmara Dominczyck). He gets close to the two of them, too close to her and eventually the kind of sparks fly that often result in danger and deceit. Reedus made this same movie years prior, except it was called Dark Harbour, was set in the Pacific Northwest instead of the Oklahoma dust bowl and he starred alongside Polly Walker and Alan Rickman instead. That goes to show that the traditions and tropes of this sub-genre are as old and intrinsic as the routines in the circus Assante owns here. There’s a shifty quality to all three leads here, all seemingly unlikeable until the mournful third act plays out and we see which one really deserves our sympathy. Reedus always looks like a scrappy lost dog that’s seen a few back alley fights, he has the kind of natural magnetic charisma that you can’t fake. Assante is sometimes a long of ham in his work, but seems a bit more relaxed here and let’s the circus monkey on his shoulder do some of the talking. Dagmara is a true beauty, captivating the screen and making us really believe we’d fall under her dark spell while we’re hypnotized. Not a bad flick at all, and has some really good moments in the final act which gets quite grounded, sad and has a neat little twist.

-Nate Hill

“I can’t do that.” A review of Sicario: Day of the Soldado – by Josh Hains

In my review for Sicario, I noted that I had some difficulty shaking the movie so to speak, because seeing it in theatres had been such an impactful, resonant experience for me. I ended that review by saying, “It is assuredly an openly nihilistic (in the best way possible), unflinching examination of the thin grey line that separates wolves from sheep, and hunters from the hunted, with one hell of a bloodthirsty, tortured man in Alejandro dragging us blindly into a realm where darkness reaches out to darkness with battered hands and consumes its soul. And ours.”, and I think that ruling also applies to its sequel, Sicario: Day of the Soldado, which plays a lot less like your average movie sequel, and much more like the intended standalone spin-off that was being advertised.

A group of suicide bombers walk into a crowded Kansas City grocery store and murder 15 innocent people, including a mother and her young child, during the most disturbing and frightening sequence in either Sicario movie that lets you know immediately, this will be a significantly darker venture than what came before. The American government suspects that Mexican cartels are now illegally transporting Islamic territory across the border (sound like anyone we know?) and in reaction to this suspicion Secretary of Defense James Riley (Matthew Modine) gives CIA operative Matt Graver (Josh Brolin) carte blanche to combat the increasing threat of these ruthless cartels. So of course Matt calls up his “big dog”, Alejandro Gillick (Benicio Del Toro), to help him wage a war between the major cartels, which includes killing a high level lawyer for one of the cartels, and the kidnapping of Isabela Reyes (Isabela Moner), the daughter of one of the cartel kingpins. In time, things go south fast when the President issues an order to the CIA to abandon the mission and erase all proof of American involvement in the false flag operation including Isabela, pushing Alejandro into brutal protector mode having bonded with her, pitting him against Graver and his team.

By now you have likely heard that for some, the absence of Sicario director Denis Villeneuve, the late composer Johann Johannsson, cinematographer Roger Deakins, and the Kate Macer character portrayed by Emily Blunt, is deeply felt throughout the entire running time of the movie. While Roger Deakins may not be the name behind the camera, Dariusz Wolksi does a remarkable job emulating the style and palette of Deakins’s work on the first movie, while also projecting a grittier, grimier image that adds to the low-key realism of the film, and the score by Hildur Guðnadóttir does a fine job of emulating Johannsson’s magnificent, dread inducing score of Sicario. Filling in for Villeneuve, Stefano Sollima successfully replicates the same style, atmosphere, and tone of the first movie, in a way that allows us to feel like we are back in that same world, but experiencing it through a different set of eyes.

There is no doubt in my mind that both Kate Macer, and Reggie Wayne (Daniel Kaluuya), could have been incorporated into Soldado in a multitude of ways if the script had gone in a partially different direction, much to the appeasement of those who were unable to see past their absence (more specifically, Kate’s absence), citing it as a major downfall of the movie. The question I have for those same naysayers is, how? How do you make her return feel natural and organically constructed, and not forced and unnatural?

Having seen the direction Soldado (which means “soldier” when loosely translated from Spanish) travels in without Kate (and Reggie), there is no denying that Soldado would have been a vastly different movie altogether had the character been brought back. Perhaps in the script for the impending third Sicario movie there is an opportunity to bring her back. Perhaps she experiences a personal loss or attempt on her life by the hands of the cartel, compelling her to become a Sicario like Alejandro. Maybe she joins Matt Graver’s task force because Alejandro was right, and nothing made sense to her American ears, she doubted everything they did, but in the end understood why it happened. Maybe she has no place in that movie either. Who knows? What I do know is, in my eyes her affiliation with Alejandro and Matt came to a close before Sicario ended, just as Alejandro told her the last lines of the movie: “You should move to a small town, somewhere the rule of law still exists. You will not survive here. You are not a wolf, and this is a land of wolves now.” Sure, I would have enjoyed her presence in this standalone spin-off, I do not doubt that Blunt would have knocked out yet another terrific performance, and Soldado would have been better for it, but I’m perfectly okay without her being there.

I disagree with the notion that the violence of Soldado is in any way, exploitive, or over the top, or unnecessarily ugly, which differing opinions suggesting that the movie only contains this violence because the filmmakers weren’t smart enough to convoy anything else, and not because it needed to be there. Obviously the violence is in service of the plot, and it occurs naturally so. In Sicario, the task force operated within a particular set of rules of engagement, including not firing unless fired upon, which we saw come into effect during the notorious border scene. Here in Soldado, carte blanche allows them to kill freely, so when they swiftly execute a truckload of gang members as efficiently as they did those border crossing cartel members, without having to be fired upon, it inherently creates an ugly aura to the violence, perfectly befitting of the new rule free, carte blanche perspective of this horrific crime infested world established in Sicario.

As one would expect from the next Sicario movie, the performances across the board are once again top notch. While actors like Jeffrey Donovan (reprising his role from the first movie), Matthew Modine, and Catherine Keener add gravitas and depth to their supporting roles with subtle nuances in their physicality, and grounded, authentic delivery of dialogue, it’s the principal trio who will take the most credit for truly knocking it out of the park. Anyone underwhelmed by Isabela Moner in Transformers: The Last Knight (which I haven’t seen, yet) will be pleased as punch to see her impress with a performance that elevates what could have been another in a long line of shallow kidnapping victim performances. Josh Brolin still so effortlessly manages to tow the thin line of playing someone with an intimidating record and a hefty amount of authority, who can be coldly serious, calculated, and unflinchingly, efficiently brutal if need be, while also projecting a relaxed “Chill out bro, let’s go catch some waves,” kind of attitude that allows Matt Graver apt exist within the Sicario world as a multi-dimensional character, and not merely a one-sided archetype.

I hold particular fondness for the way in which Taylor Sheridan writes Alejandro, and the subtle way Del Toro has portrayed him across both films, and has stolen every scene he’s been in. He cuts through any given scene (and both movies in their entirety) like a hot knife through butter, a true scene stealer but in a quiet and controlled manner. One might be inclined to incorrectly categorize the performances as minimalist, with so few lines because he convinced both Villeneuve and Sollima to allow him to remove lines so he may play in silence more often, adding to the allure and mystery of the Sicario while his powerful performance, quite often nothing more than the look in his eyes and/or the expression upon his face, helps us see the living layers within the man. The softness we first saw from him in Sicario, that showed care in how Kate was feeling after the attack on her, comes through all the more in tender scenes between him and Isabela, and during a delightful scene with a deaf man.

Make no mistake, the cold ferocity is still boiling like molten lava within him, it’s just that we are privileged to see more of the man who used to wear that skin long before the land of wolves tuned him into one.

B Movie Glory: Breaking Point

There’s some debate on whether rappers are decent actors. Some think they have no place in a business that requires training and practice. Other are more accepting. I’m somewhere in the middle, but Breaking Point (aka Order Of Redemption) makes a pretty good case for them, particularly Busta Rhymes and Kirk ‘Sticky Fingaz’ Jones, who star in this urban crime/courtroom drama alongside genre veterans Tom Berenger and Armand Assante. This is a very solid flick by direct to DVD standards, one that actually says something about the state of the streets, poverty, evil, corruption and second chances. Berenger plays a once mighty defense attorney who has fallen a long way following family tragedy and drug addiction. He’s brought back onto the scene when an ex athlete turned gang member (Fingaz) is embroiled in a complex murder case involving an infant and the vicious, psychopathic crime boss played by Busta Rhymes. Igniting matters further is a hothead rival attorney (Armand Assante in full sleaze mode) who has it in for Berenger. He and Fingaz make a strong alliance and both try to find some light at the end of a very dark tunnel by saving the baby from Rhymes, smoking out corruption in both the police force and the DA’s office with the help of a friend on the inside (the always lovely and vastly underrated Musetta Vander) and get their lives back on track in the process. Berenger is brilliant as the fallen avenger trying to burn bright again, while Rhymes does a chilling variation on the cold hearted killer archetype with his own angry twist. This may be low budget and not very prolific, but they say that all you need for a good film is a good script, and this has an excellent one that’s brought to life vividly by everyone involved for a bristling, provocative, emotional crime drama.

-Nate Hill

B Movie Glory: American Strays

There’s a turn of phrase that I like to avoid in where a writer compares any eclectic crime film they can find to the work of Quentin Tarantino by labelling it a ‘Tarantino knockoff’, or any variation in vocabulary. I renounce this lazy, unimaginative jab as it’s based in the worst form of criticism, that of negative comparison and ignorance of a film’s original qualities. However, in the case of American Strays, even I have to concede that it’s a blatant, unapologetic ripoff of QT’s style that makes no efforts to mask the plagiarism or do it’s own thing. He should sue. Not to mention the fact that on it’s own terms it’s just a horrible, boring, awkward fuckin piece of shit movie. It’s set up in the same anthology sequence except none of them are even connected, let alone make sense. Two nimrod hit men (James Russo and Joe Viterelli) drive through the desert engaging in strained extended dialogue that’s neither funny nor stimulating. A psychotic vacuum salesman (the great John Savage) goes door to door harassing people until he meets his match in a femme fatale housewife (Jennifer Tilly). A stressed out family man (Eric Roberts, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else) drives his dysfunctional brood through the desert. Elsewhere, Luke Perry plays a depressed, suicidal weirdo who sits around in a shack with a guy he’s paid to literally beat the shit out of him. The worst is a cutesy pie, insufferable Bonnie and Clyde style couple that are so obviously emulating Clarence and Alabama from Tarantino’s True Romance that you begin to wonder if they gave up and just set the script on autopilot like one of those knowingly ridiculous knockoffs you see on Netflix that are simply there to decoy you out into clicking a title that looks *almost* like what you want to watch (TransMorphers, anyone?). None of these vignettes are remotely engaging, it’s like a parade of shitty, awkward, misguided SNL skits from a dimension where humour and wit don’t exist. Every actor just looks tired, every line lands with a hollow thud. Just. Don’t. Bother.

B Movie Glory: D-War aka Dragon Wars

D-War, aka Dragon Wars if the obnoxious CGI cover art wasn’t obvious enough, is a slovenly, sorry ass piece of pseudo sci-fi wannabe Godzilla garbage that manages to take a concept ripe with silly Corman-esque potential and turn it into something so boring it will melt your frontal lobe before the ‘dragons’ even show up. Apparently based on a Korean legend, I’d be fascinated to snoop around and see just what liberties were taken with the lore, because this plays out more like a Transformers movie but if the Autobots were giant Pokémon. An investigative reporter (Jason Behr) spends most of the time staring vacuously into the horizon as he and a hot chick (Amanda Brooks) race towards LA to try and stop a race of giant monsters from destroying everything. Where did they come from? Couldn’t say, and neither could the film from what I remember. What do they want? To smash and break things. Poor Robert Forster slums it up as an old mentor to Behr who has some vague sagely knowledge about the dragons, while Twin Peaks’s Chris Mulkey plays a corrupt FBI agent with his own agenda who hunts them down. The whole thing reeks of rushed, scattered production values and the shared knowledge among cast and crew that this wasn’t ever going anywhere but straight to DVD, no matter how prolific a legend it’s based on. Blech.

-Nate Hill