B Movie Glory: Cat Run 


Cat Run is a useless, needlessly crass and unpleasant piece of pseudo euro-pulp garbage with not a redeeming factor in sight. It tries its best to do the whole assassin mad dash a-lá Smokin Aces and such, but there’s no heart, no discernible frequency to jive with and it ends up so thoroughly dead on arrival that you can feel the lack of pulse simply by watching a hastily cut trailer. The story is a glossy parade of silenced pistols, broad characterizations and graphic genre prototypes that offers nothing fresh, beginning with a murder scandal involving a scumbag politician (Christopher ‘Shooter McGavin’ McDonald) and a high class escort (Paz Vega). This causes subsequent fallout and bloodshed as all kinds of freaks and lowlifes come crawling out of the woodwork. They include two moronic would-be businessmen (Eurotrip’s Scott Mechlowicz and Alphonso McCauley), a mysterious oddball (DJ Hughley) an Eastern European mobster nutjob (always cool to see Karel Rosen) and Helen Bingham, a ferocious assassin played by British thesp Janet McTeer. They’ve made her character excessively, ridiculously arch and violent, hovering so far over the top she flies into orbit. The thing about these low rent, hard boiled, high octane ensemble capers is that you have to have a balance, a flow of all energies involved that stays streamlined and congruent. Smokin Aces had that (its sequel ran on an empty tank, but that’s another story), as a good example of the recipe done right. This one just feels aloof and awkward, nothing to say and no amount of high style to distract us from the lack of proper story. It amazes me that they churned out a sequel this year, which I’ll be avoiding, I think. 

-Nate Hill

Disney’s Flubber: A Review by Nate Hill 

A remake of an old black and white Disney flick called The Absent Minded Professor that has long since gotten a bit stale, Flubber took all the best elements of that and breathed new 90’s life into the premise, most of the pep in its step coming from star Robin Williams. Keep in mind it was a critical bomb though, which just doesn’t make a shred of sense to me. It’s fun, lighthearted, hilarious and just a bit raunchy in places where it can pull it off. For whatever reason, it didn’t sit well with anyone other than fans like me who will furiously shove a copy in your face if we hear that you haven’t seen it. Williams is college professor Philip Brainard, who is so absent minded it borders on dementia.  He leaves his lovely fiance (Marcia Gay Harden) at the alter TWICE, prompting the advances of irksome college dean Shooter Mcgavi- I mean Christopher Mcdonald. He’s on a quest, you see, an obsessive quest to find the formula for… something. That something turns up after a destructive whirlwind of disasters in his basement lab, and in the form of Flubber, a lovable ball of green goo, infected with incurable ADHD and an inexhaustible sense of humour. While the utter the life of the party, Flubber does have its practical uses, such as making cars fly and turning the hopeless varsity basketball team into a bunch of flying Tasmanian devils who nail every dunk. This all gets the attention of insidious local philanthropist and lowlife Chester Hoenicker (Raymond J. Barry) who greedily wants the discovery for his own. He sends his two goons Smith (Ted Levine) and Wesson (Clancy Brown) to rob Brainard of his precious sentient mucous, which turns into one of the most hilarious displays of slapstick comedy since the Three Stooges. Oh, did I mention Williams has a little flying UFO sidekick named Weebo, who has a perfect GIF reaction to everything, before GIF’s were even a thing? So much to love about this little classic. Williams is his usual buoyant self, with some of his trademark razor focus diminished in favor of doe eyed, vacuous forgetfulness that would make Jason Bourne guilty for ever whining about his predicament. Special effects are top drawer too, Flubber would look dapper in Blu Ray if they ever felt so inclined as to release one, not to mention aforementioned airborne automobiles and dear little Weebo. Can’t give enough glowing praise to this little treasure, and hiss enough venom towards those sourpuss critics who assaulted it. Flubber for the win.   

John Dahl’s Unforgettable: A Review by Nate Hill

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John Dahl’s Unforgettable plays around with a trippy high concept premise in which people’s memories can be accessed by using an experimental, controversial drug. Ray Liotta plays the troubled Doctor whose wife has been recently murdered. He desperately reaches out to the scientist (Linda Fiorentino) who synthesized the compound, and the two set out to use it unofficially, in order to retain his wife’s dying moments, see them for himself and establish who her killer is. The serum takes its toll on his already stressed mind though, and soon he’s questioning his own reality, his trust levels towards those around him dropping considerably. Director Dahl is beyond proficient when it comes to thrillers, usually taking on crime pieces with a noirish vibe. Here he tries his hand at science fiction, coexisting with a classic whodunit narrative, and the result is quite good. Liotta relies on the information that his detective friend (Peter Coyote) gives him, and combined with the knowledge he absorbs from his deceased wife’s brain, begins to piece the puzzle together. There’s also a troublesome detective played by Christopher Mcdonald he must deal with, and a violent thug (Kim Coates) involved as well. Liotta is usually tough, capable and would normally be found playing one of the two cops, but the doctor on the run without a lot of tactical skill suits him and allows the guy some work other than just cops or psychos. Watch for work from David Paymer, Kim Cattrall, William B. Davis, Callum Keith Rennie and Garwin Sanford as well. The premise may be too farfetched for some folks, but for others with imagination it’ll be a blast. It’s also fairly violent and graphic, which may seem gratuitous for such a cerebral outing, but I find it gives it a stylistic edge and raises the stakes, just like Total Recall. Great flick. Not Total Recall, I mean this one. Well Total Recall too, obviously. Yeesh.